INTERVIEW WITH MIRCO, MR. RUBBER ITALIA 2023
Mirco, also known as Dark Hermes, born in 1991 in Vittorio Veneto (TV) and currently residing in Padova, recently earned a PhD in Social Sciences with a thesis on the kinky world.
Dark Hermes, why did you choose this pseudonym?
The first night I attended a kinky party at Officina in Limena (PD) on December 28, 2017, I wanted to try something new compared to what I had done in more intimate settings. Leather Big Wolf lent me a black dog slave mask and a plug tail. Even for Alessandro, the guy who acted as my master, it was his first time in a public BDSM context. At one point, a guy who was caressing me asked Alessandro what the name of "this cute pup" was, and he looked around for an answer, saw the dark rooms, and exclaimed, "Dark! Yes, his name is Dark!". I got lucky; otherwise, I might be called "Fuffy Hermes" today (laughs). The second part of the name came in 2020 along with a series of coincidences, one of which is the tattoo on my back. I decided to get it before discovering its meaning: the caduceus is the symbol of the Greek god Hermes. Hermes is a deity very much aligned with my nature: he's a messenger, eloquent, and protects both travelers and boundaries - in short, the perfect protector for a kinkster who wants to do something for the rest of the community, right? He also has the turtle as a symbol, an animal I'm very fond of for its esoteric connotations.
Tell us about your childhood, where you spent your school years, your childhood dream, your studies, your relationship with school… in short, your roots.
I grew up in a small village called Cappella Maggiore, which has Maria Maddalena as its patron saint - coincidences? I don't think so. I attended high school in Vittorio Veneto, an environment where I unfortunately encountered homophobia but fortunately also found friendship, social support, and love. After high school, I started studying in Padova. After trying a mathematics degree, I enrolled in educational sciences and later earned a master's degree in philosophy, psychology, and sociology. I fell in love with sociology and the ethnographic research approach. This led me to study various aspects of sexuality during my Ph.D. in Social Sciences in the same city under the supervision of Professors Matteo Bortolini and Vincenzo Romania. In my experience, the sociology practiced in Padova is very inclusive and open to various research topics proposed by students that were once considered taboo. For example, I had the opportunity to conduct ethnography in European clubs and cruising areas, discovering that kinksters are not just hedonists but can be compared to true ascetics who elevate their minds and spirits through their bodies, achieving very refined states of well-being and personal fulfillment. This was the theme of my research thesis. Currently, after obtaining my Ph.D., I am conducting research for the European Sex Workers' Rights Alliance, collaborating with Arcigay (of which I have been a member since 2012), and the Anti-Discrimination Center in Padova. Sometimes I teach in university contexts, and other times I work as a sex worker, both online and offline. Let's say that this year of uncertainty is the perfect condition for traveling and getting involved as Mr. Rubber!
Hobbies? Free time? Your greatest passion?
In addition to the kinky life and sex-positive activism, I have a great passion that I have pursued for 15 years, which is Aikido, a Japanese martial art that I mainly practice in Vittorio Veneto under the guidance of Master Sandro Lucagnano. I believe that kinky practices and martial arts have a lot in common; both, for example, are based on bodily discipline, technique, the harmonious development of encounters between people, and beauty!
Three adjectives to describe yourself?
Curious, kind, eclectic.
When and where did your vocation for the kinky world and your first experience with rubber come about?
Like many other people, I discovered some kinks during childhood, although they didn't have their current sexual meaning. The fact that I often wear yellow rubber is an explicit reference to my first kink! I discovered rubber by chance. For my research, I was in London, and there were parties reserved for those dressed in rubber. So, to enter, I had to wear something in rubber. I bought my first chaps, underwear, and a rubber t-shirt, and I immediately liked it from both a sexual and aesthetic perspective. I went on to buy many more gear items made of the same material. I have many other fetishes (skinhead, leather, military, sportswear, puppy), but rubber is certainly the most prevalent in my wardrobe.
What motivated you to enter the Mr. Rubber contest?
I wanted to give something back to the community because the community has given me a lot in building the research I conducted and in growing as a kinkster. I believe there are many things to do to make ourselves more visible, safe, cohesive, and I want to do my best in this year!
Your first fetish trip? Age? Destination? Shy or already exuberant?
London, Fetish Week 2019. I was 28 years old. It was the year when I started living my kinky sexuality more intensely, and it was also the year I started taking PreP, so I felt much safer and couldn't wait to meet many other guys like me in a great environment!
Were you excited during the contest? How did you experience the moment on stage in Rome?
I was constantly excited and tense in front of the audience and the judges. I knew many people, but it was the first time I was so much in the spotlight in this environment. At the same time, I was relaxed and happy to "compete in a non-competitive way" with Danilo, the other contestant, a guy very similar to me with whom a great friendship was born from the beginning. We took care of each other throughout the weekend in an atmosphere of mutual respect, hugs, and very formative conversations. With a smile, a "how are you?" and a laugh, even a marathon becomes a walk!
Why do you think Italy has a distorted view of the gay and fetish world compared to other European cities like Berlin, London, Amsterdam, Antwerp, and Barcelona, where the lives of gay people seem to be more peaceful, open, and without prejudice based on race, color, social class, or sex?
I personally believe that we live in a complicated country due to its structure. We don't have cities comparable to the ones you mentioned, but a large network of small towns that reinforce a lifestyle closer to that of the countryside than that of cosmopolitan metropolises. However, what might answer your question more comprehensively is my belief that Italy has a shameful fascist legacy that we have never really been able to rid ourselves of (unlike Germany with regard to Nazism), which creeps into our lives without us realizing it. The issue is very complex, but I think it is typical of fascism to prioritize public communication that exalts one's own nation at the expense of others seeking hospitality, to elevate a single religion to a universal moral imperative, and to promote a single concept of family, as if the sole purpose of sexuality were to have children in accordance with the ius sanguinis that still prevails in Italy. Fortunately, things have changed and are changing compared to 13 years ago when I came out. What fetishists in the contexts you mentioned - which many also do in Italy - have probably done is create many places and initiatives aimed at deconstructing "decorum," the expectation that there should always be a "right" way to behave. When you don't harm other people, it's good to get rid of social expectations that want us to be heterosexual, vanilla, monogamous, "real men," romantic, possessive, jealous, orderly, clean, safe, clothed, sober, and so on. Conditions for sexual liberation exist and are much more than we imagine, and we should not confuse what is scandalous or transgressive with what is illegal. If you want to walk around your city in rubber, you might be "over the top," but you certainly are not committing a crime, so do it if you want! Let's strive to please those we like, not to please those who hate us!
Objectives during your year as Mister?
Survive?! Just kidding... Promote greater inclusivity for every kinkster, both within and outside our community; welcome newcomers to rubber and other fetishes so they can enter our world consciously and safely, learning our sex-positive values and customs; write about kink; travel in Italy to make the rubber subculture and our kinky lifestyle known through talks, Pride events, and various public and daily situations; explore other fetish contexts abroad to strengthen the community at a transnational level, learn new things, and inspire the Italian context to happily embrace what happens beyond the Alps or beyond the Pillars of Hercules.
Upcoming trips on your calendar?
Leather Friends Italia evenings in Padova and Milan, New Year's Eve in Berlin, Darklands in Antwerp, Rubber Week in Paris, the election of Italian Fetishman of the year in Milan, Evidence's birthday in Nice, Gran Canaria Pride, the election of Mr. Leather Italia and Mr. Rubber Netherlands, Pride events in Padova, Rome, Milan, and Amsterdam, London Fetish Week, and the inevitable Folsom! In the future, I would also like to participate in the Rubber Spain Ambassador election, the Fetish Week in Mas Palomas, the Mr. Leather Evidence election, and why not... a contest with a more European or international scope!
Any wishes to express?
I wish that this journey I have embarked on can be beautiful and unforgettable for me and for all the people who will walk alongside me!
Anyone you'd like to thank?
First and foremost, I want to thank those who believed in me on the evening of December 10, 2022; I won't disappoint you! I thank Mr. Rubber Italia 2022, Pan, who inspired me during his tenure. Matteo and Vincenzo, without whom I probably wouldn't have made it here. Dionysus for accompanying me on my first rubber purchase, Tetrakleion for helping me preserve it until now. The clubs that will support me but that I already knew and loved: Leather Friends Italia and Leather Club Roma, as well as The Italian Puppy, where it all began, and Leather & Fetish Milano, which warmly welcomes me on every occasion! Arcigay for teaching me to fight for myself and for us. And finally, the numerous sponsors who will make this very eventful year possible!
